My grandmother was Scottish – or Scotch as she would always say in the old-fashioned style. The presence of her father, though dead 27 years when I was born, still loomed over the family. He had made his name as an artist and his paintings helped re-enforce a romantic image of Scotland that was very popular with the Victorians. His grand oil paintings of highland cows and wild coastal scenes adorned the walls of my grandparents’ house. His work can still be seen in the National Gallery in Edinburgh and other major collections Engravings of his work were at one time very fashionable – although today are more likely to turn up in junk shops than fashionable galleries.

I was brought up in England and my grandparents lived in London. However my grandmother frequently returned to see her sisters in Scotland and she would send me postcards of Princes Street and St Andrews and always brought me back sticks of Edinburgh rock. She would tell me exciting stories and her distinctive speaking voice, which I then only knew as the way she spoke, was, I now realise a Scottish accent. From a young age I was aware that to be Scottish was something special, something exciting, something different. I knew too that I had a claim to Scottishness. I had a tartan and a family story that reinforced this identity. My father had inherited a portrait, which my son now has, of a distant ancestor who, family lore had it, was the son of one of Bonny Prince Charlie’s soldiers.

Today, unheard of, indeed inconceivable in my grandmother’s time, Scotland has the chance to become an independent nation again. The 300 year old union could be broken up if the referendum goes Alex Salmond’s way.

Because I have a home in Shetland, I have a vote – even though it is still an open question as to whether Shetland is actually Scottish. Administratively it is – but its heart, like its geographic position, is halfway between Scotland and Scandinavia.

It is to Scandinavia that the mainland Scots look for role models. If Norway, Denmark and Sweden can be small, successful, self-governing countries, why cannot Scotland be the same? It is a point the ‘Better together’ camp accepts. Scotland would survive once divorced from England.

But, they say, Scotland and England, apart, would both be diminished. The United Kingdom has a status in the world as a former great power. It has a seat at the top table and has its own nuclear deterrent. With Scotland’s oil and England’s clout, the UK is a nation to be reckoned with. Broken up into its constituent parts it loses its standing.

Some might argue this would be no bad thing. A separation from Scotland would force England into making a realistic assessment of its global significance. It might result in the country giving up its nuclear pretensions. It might even result in a radical reform of its own political institutions. Westminster is much in need of a major shake-up.

Yet as I contemplate how to vote at the referendum I cannot help reflect that however much I feel more Scottish than English, all national identities are essentially bogus. The land north of the border was all too often in its history a collection of feuding tribes rather than a coherent nation before the crowns, and eventually the parliaments, were amalgamated.

All the cultural icons of Scotland’s identity – are of relatively recent origin. From kilts to whisky, Burns to the Loch Ness monster, they have all emerged since the union with England. Many things we think of as essentially Scottish were invented by Walter Scott and George 1V to bolster the political union.

The questions I ask are these. Will the government of an independent Scotland be more democratically answerable to the people than the Westminster government? The hope is that it will be, but given the nature of politicians of countries both great and small, this is debateable. Will an independent Scottish nation be able to maintain, and improve on, the current standard of living of its people? This depends on factors well beyond the nation’s border. The international banking system, environmental factors, technological developments and many other imponderables beyond the control of any single national government.

So how will I vote?

It’s a secret ballot.